Before I started college I always drew. I'd never leave the house without one of my sketchbooks and bag of pencils. And when I was accepted to my dream school, an art college in NYC, I couldn't wait to go! But I ended up going to another school. Why? Because art school is simply too expensive.
So after coming to terms with not going to art school I slowly stopped doing the one thing I enjoyed the most. My dad asks me all the time if I'm drawing and I always reply "no". I just don't feel like it most of the time and it's just sad. Now whenever I try to draw everything I create looks horrible to me.
I've been trying to draw again. I'm hoping to become a graphic design major next semester, and I think once I'm able to take visual art classes again I'll feel better. At least I hope so.
A while ago I drew Galadriel, and I'm still super proud of it!
It's the only thing I've drawn within the past months that I'm okay with. I want to really start drawing art relating to Tolkien. I started this Theoden piece a longlonglong time ago and I'm finally revisiting it. (Click on them to get a clearer image). I think if I set my mind to it, I can get inspired again.
This is something I drew not that long ago. Ink on bristol board. It was a take off of Tolkien's cover for The Hobbit. I forgot how much I enjoyed drawing swirls! (The darker sections of the mountains are filled with tiny swirls)
Paper is so much fun to work with. It was my material of choice during my senior year in high school for my AP Studio Art concentration. I made 9 cards, each for one of the staff members at Middle-earth News. It was nice to get "back into the game".
It's relaxing for me to draw hundreds of tiny swirls, or to cut tiny details with an exacto knife. I miss working with paper and ink and my drawing tablet and paint tool sai. I miss art.
I just need to suck it up and get over the fact that I didn't get to go to art school. I'll be able to take art classes again soon, I can make it till then.
Time to break out the sketchbooks and pencils again!
I know how you feel, very very well.... I went to a tiny art school from 2006-2009 and graduated in book-illustration. Up until that time working as an artist was my dream. I knew that I would get any jobs with that degree from that specific art school, so I applied at my dream artschool for 2d animations (my biggest dream ever). I hoped to get a full scholarship, but I didn't and since I couldn't affort my dream artschool I chose something else. In the mean time I travelled around and realizes I fell into a creative hole. So deeply that I decided to study something entirely different. Now I'm studying English and Politics and I'm actually happy. I'll be majoring in English literature this winter and I think it was the best decision for me. I manajed to crawl out of that creative hole eventually, but nowaydays I just don't have the time to draw. I keep writing my ideas down or do rough sketches but thats it.
ReplyDeleteRight now, art is just a hobby for me, because I want to focuse on my writing. But I do hope that someday I'll be able to call myself a professional writer and artist.
Sorry for the long post without an answer to your struggles.
I mean: "I knew that I would NOT get any jobs with that degree from that specific art school, so I applied at my dream artschool for 2d animations (my biggest dream ever)."
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